Female Orgasm: Staging Up

This is the part of the study of female orgasm where, in my humble opinion, most of the difficulty takes place. The good news is that it's only hard to decipher when you're with a new partner.

I can't give you exact tips on how to execute a specific rhythm with precise intensities, but I will equip you with the right knowledge and tools to allow you to shorten the period of time it takes to figure out your woman's anatomy.

What is staging?

Staging refers to the leveling up of intensity with which you apply pressure and speed to her body. What feels good in the early stages could be boring later on, and what could feel uncomfortable early on could feel great later.

This, of course, varies from woman to woman, but there are common themes and checkpoints to apply that will allow you to know exactly where you are. The important thing is to know which lessons to learn as you get better at this. Instead of assuming a very specific progression should take place because it worked once or twice, you should get better at noticing the bodily signals that give you hints on where you are at the moment.

Embrace life in the slow lane

Speed is as important an element as the amount of pressure. In the beginning, you need to show a great deal of restraint as you tease her with gentle caresses around her stomach and thighs. In a previous chapter of this series, we covered that specific aspect in depth—check out the "The Build Up" article if you missed it.

Think of it as the "hello" part of the process. It allows her to build anticipation and get familiar with your touch.

Speed control doesn't just apply to how fast you move from one place to another, but also to the length of pauses between motions. Pay attention, for example, to how long you wait before you start your journey to the other side of the clit.

Learn to begin again

The fascinating thing about climbing the orgasm ladder is that you can fall off to the ground at any moment. That's undesirable, but it's okay—take your time starting over and following the same rhythm to get back to where you were.

The key to avoiding falling down is consistency. Don't switch between motions too fast, thinking you're teasing her. When you're advanced enough to venture into the world of orgasm control, you'll be able to execute such techniques with ease.

When it's her first few orgasms of the night, you don't want to start using orgasm denial yet to build her up to that one big full-body flush. That comes later, perhaps after the 3rd or 4th orgasm.

Levels of pressure

After speed, pressure control is essential to master if you want to get good at this. Learn the difference between hovering, moving the skin, and everything in between. Her body responds differently to the point of contact between your body and hers, so make sure there's a steady upward progression in the levels of pressure.

The Approach stage

This is when the orgasm first starts appearing on the horizon. You'll notice her breathing getting heavy and her hips starting to move. The challenge here is to keep the rhythm and amount of pressure applied VERY steady, which becomes difficult as her body movements begin to disrupt, and sometimes counteract, yours.

Don't try to make her body steady, as that will get her inside her head—the last place you want her to be when she's about to orgasm. She shouldn't feel self-conscious about how her body behaves, especially when she's nearing the peak.

Take a deep breath and employ a certain amount of focus and attention to ensure neither the pressure nor speed changes.

The orgasm

Welcome to the point of no return! While many women prefer to maintain the same exact variables from the previous stage, some experience greater orgasms when you switch things up a little. There's a fair amount of trial and error involved here.

A few things to experiment with at this stage if your woman falls into the second category are:

More pressure
More pressure on higher, hidden parts of the clit
Slow down or pause to extend the orgasm
Add penetration or a finger on the outside of the opening when the orgasm begins

The fastest way to understand what she prefers is by trying something different each time you reach that stage.

After the fireworks

You've made it to the end—congratulations! You'll know it's the end when the pulsating muscle contractions below the opening and around the anus slow down. Right now, her parts are extremely sensitive to touch, so what felt amazing a moment ago may now be overwhelming, and not in a good way.

Giving her more orgasms after this one might strongly rely on your approach during the orgasm stage. If you stop at the right time, this will greatly help her build up to the next one with little rest time in between.

Some women don't have multiple orgasms, but for those who do, the recovery period could be anywhere from a few minutes to half an hour.

In an upcoming episode, we'll dive into the topic of multiple orgasms and how to train your woman to have them if she has little to no prior experience—stay tuned!