Female Orgasm: The Build Up

Every great movie starts with a teaser, goes through a familiarity-building phase, then a few plot twists before the peak of the action takes place.

A good orgasm is not so different from a good movie. In this article, we’ll go through the build-up phase of giving women great orgasms. If you missed the fundamentals part of the series, I’d advise you to start there.

Ignite All Sensations

Women are much more attuned to bodily sensations than men are. Being aware of their sensitive nature is a trait common among empathetic lovers — the ones women genuinely crave the presence of.

The gentle slide of your fingertips across the neck might go unnoticed when she does it to you; it might even feel ticklish and uncomfortable. However, to a woman, she will feel even the slightest gestures on her body.

In the beginning, you want to slowly introduce your body to hers. Let her feel the texture of your skin, the smell of your neck, and the gaze of your eyes. Pass your fingers through your lips to have her taste you. Whisper softly in her ears and let her feel your deep masculine voice.

The more of her senses you ignite, the stronger the foundation you’ll set as you get ready to give her a memorable experience.

Start Slow and Tease

Is she already turned on and rushing you? Perfect, that’s when you deny her the satisfaction of speeding up.

A mistake guys make at this stage is letting the woman lead the pace; we don’t want that! Let her know you’re in control by keeping it slow despite her signals to move on from the teasing phase. Women do this unconsciously when they’re turned on, but as an experienced lover, you know there’s more intensity to introduce later on.

Pay close attention to her breathing patterns; you’ll notice it getting heavier. When she sees you’re not moving on despite her signals, she might try to physically move you—grabbing your belt, moving your hand to her clit, or forcibly pulling you.

The right action is to wrap your hands around her wrists in a dominant manner as you gesture ‘No!’ with your head. Is she frustrated? Perfect! That’s exactly the reaction you should expect.

As a general rule of thumb, you should not transition out of teasing before your woman is sufficiently frustrated. Don’t make the mistake of assuming frustration is bad; it’s not! It’s what makes for insanely orgasmic experiences.

Beat Around the Bush

Do not touch the really sensitive areas yet. When caressing her breasts, move your fingers gently around the nipples. Give her gentle kisses and watch her eyes light up every time she thinks you’ll finally reach her nipples.

That’s a great point to add some dirty talk: “I see you really want me to touch your nipples, don’t you?” As she nods in agreement, get your tongue gently circling around her nipple—without touching it.

Move your lips around her stomach and all the way into her thighs. As your lips meet her thighs, keep your fingers circling around her nipples. Now, do an “accidental” touch of her nipples, as if your fingers just skipped out of the path.

Start “hinting” by moving your tongue from one thigh, around her pussy, to the other thigh, and all the way back.

Spend a minute or two there, then zoom in a bit closer and perform the same motion around the opening of her pussy.

Now we move onto the center of attention—the clit. Start with a gentle gliding motion (hovering, not moving the skin) in a circular motion of the following area:

It’s important to completely avoid touching the hood of the clit at this point. We’re still ramping up the anticipation and frustration. Don’t use enough force to push the skin yet—she just needs to feel your warm breath and wet tongue. Assume she’s very wet at this point.

Stay there for at least a couple of minutes, then make an “accidental” visit of your tongue to the hood of the clit.

You're getting very close to the clit here. Keep in mind that this is the area with the most number of nerve endings in her body and she will feel every tiny bit of sensation you introduce to her. Keep your tongue wet and light on her skin. This accidental touch of your tongue should occur occasionally and unexpectedly and do NOT get the clit out of the hood yet!

Now your woman had probably never been as turned on by another man in her life as she is at this moment, she will try to push your head into her to increase the intensity of the sensation. Give her a playful threat of pulling away and continue building her up.

After a few minutes of this, it's time to firmly massage around her clit, gradually increase the intensity by slightly moving the skin. Don't completely lunge at her, remember how sensitive to it she is right now.

Although this intense teasing is something every woman on earth craves, none will every tell you to keep teasing them even more when they're at this point. You need to disregard the feedback and continue ramping up her anticipation.

The Rhythm

When teasing a woman, predictability is your worst enemy! Don’t get stuck with a single pattern for too long—she’ll start to get bored with it. Even when going in circular motions, make sure your tongue strays away or even completely disengages from her skin.

The same advice will be contradicted later when we discuss making a woman orgasm, but early on, mix things up.

Knowing the right amount of time to stay in a single rhythmic motion is an intuition you build with practice. For now, keep each motion going for 30-45 seconds max before adding disruptions.

That’s it for this chapter. In the next one, we’ll talk about the transition from the buildup to the stimulation of the different orgasmic spots. Stay tuned, lil devils!